21soul: reflections #1

I am currently taking part in Steve Thorp’s 21soul coaching programme. Responding to the material led me into freeform collage and mapping, which then became a journalling prompt.

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For some reason I saw the three selves as three islands with a floating core.

Between the soul self and ecological self I found blocks of sadness, depression and apathy. Two smaller islands sit between the soul and ecological self; community and solitude. They are close together but not quite united. Rising up between the social self and ecological self I saw pain being released from the core, a ‘letting go’ replacing ‘getting over’. The dominant mindset & culture is as much a cause of suffering as upbringing and the family. The pain and trauma we need to release is our own, the pain of others, cultural trauma, ancestral suffering and the pain of the earth.

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The soul self harbours qualities of sensitivity, creativity, intuition, intimacy messiness and tenderness. These are sometimes complimentary and sometimes in opposition to the social self with its need for communication, community, family and collaboration. The ecological self may be grounds to integrate all of this, with its sublime depth, nourishment, wildness and grounding qualities. A place where it is OK to be both at peace and completely lost.

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I am not sure if I believe in happiness anymore. Oddly the more I think that the happier I am. “Happiness” as described by the wellbeing agenda misses a certain soulfulness, whereas living with joy and passion acknowledges pain. Instead of happiness I choose to seek belonging, soul, joy, mindfulness, art, poetry, deep earthy, intimate connection with place and people, and at the same time lightness and laughter. To relate actively, playfully, creatively, intentionally. To reflect on past and present relationships with kindness.

What would happen if we were to bind these three islands together; the soul self, the ecological self and the social self? Is this belonging? Is it part of the dissolving of self spoken about in Buddhism and other spiritual practices?

Directions for the future I find in creative reflection are to cultivate resilience, to practice simplicity, to respond as an artist and healer and to tell new stories. The image of the bee symbolises the union of the three selves, and inspires two co-dependent messages:

                   find the heart centre

   work in community to enable flowering

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Introducing the Hospital for Lost Potential: Deborah Ravetz on her new project

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A short conversation on 1/3/2013 between Emily Wilkinson and Deborah Ravetz

EW: I am very much looking forward to co-facilitating our workshop in May as part of your new project. For the benefit of those who are new to the Hospital For Lost Potential, could you explain what it is? 

DR: It is a project where I can focus my desire for people to reach their creative potential into something more meaningful than ‘personal development’. As an artist & writer, over the years this interest has married with an awareness of the wounds many people carrying wounds about their unexpressed creativity. The idea for the project came from the alchemy of this awareness I speak of combined with my experience in Social Sculpture. One of the aims of Social Sculpture is to to bring into a safe, transformative space all that is hidden, ignored and denied. I wanted to open a space where difficult questions can be brought into open, where wounds could be transformed into opportunities. Nearly everyone I’ve met has a story of something they long to do and haven’t done. The Hospital for Lost Potential is a space (online, 1-1 and group events) where these opportunities can be created

EW: Tell more about the online side of the project. 

DR: The purpose of having an online space is to translate this work into a simple, accessible format where anyone can participate and contribute. It is an immediate form of social sculpture that can reach lots of people. On the website there are forums I call ‘wards’ so people are able to create their own ward so people with the same challenges are able to find each other. Some are further along the line than others, and I want people to enter the Hospital for Lost Potential in whatever role suits them. They might be a patient or doctor, they may come with medicine or an illness. They could become well there and realise they are a healer, perhaps through conversation with each other. Through working together of course a group will help each other move forward.

EW: And the online healing space is complemented by physical experience? 

DR: Yes, originally it was going to be an online project then grew into something that worked with events and workshops and my existing 1-1 vocational training. In a workshop experience the participant will find a very safe space. On entering they will (perhaps for the first time) be able to articulate their longing and find shared experience. They will be held by the space and supported by the group to do something about their particular challenge. We will comfort them, honour their wish and find creative strategies for beginning the first steps in making that wish a possibility.

EW: You have asked me to facilitate a workshop in May with you. What do you think we bring as a team?

DR: We bring empathy, because we have both had this experience of making our (once unfulfilled) artistic dreams a reality so are walking our talk.

EW: Yes, and I suppose we are both very upfront about that process of having turned our lives around to a place where authentic creative expression is a part of the everyday. Being at different stages in our journeys I think we offer a solid support base for whatever point somebody else might be in theirs. 

DR: Indeed! There is so much joy in seeing someone get there and get through this. We share this joy as colleagues and friends. We both have interests in art and creativity (some different, some similar), healing, wellbeing, education, and the idea of vocation not career. The Hospital for Lost Potential also offers aftercare, to keep creative clarity ‘on the rails’. Participants have the option of staying in touch, and vocational training or 1-1 coaching with the two facilitators.

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To find out more about the Hospital For Lost Potential visit the online space or read about the next workshop. You can join the facebook event here.

NB: Social Sculpture is an extended concept of art which was advocated by Joseph Beuys. He created the term to illustrate his idea of art’s potential to transform society. The central idea of a social sculptor is an artist, who creates structures in society using language, thought, action, and object.

Recovering the Handmade Life

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Handmade sign (2012). Found wood and mixed media. 

Finding focus for the remaining working weeks before our exhibition, a new direction emerges from commitment to a story which recently came into my world.

I am working with a retelling of The Red Shoes. The known story tells the tale of a girl taken away from her life and handmade shoes, to a ‘better life’. In her new life she tricks her guardian into buying her a new pair of red shoes, which she insists on wearing to church. The shoes dance away with her, and she is cursed to dance forever. Eventually she finds an executioner who cuts off her feet, and many versions of the story ends her being crippled and shamed (although the Hans Christian Anderson original follows this with mercy granted by an angel).

Those familiar with the work of Clarissa Pinkola Estés will know that she uses this story in her work. My retelling is based on her version. In Women Who Run With The Wolves, Estés tells us the true meaning of this tale (which is often read as a warning against a woman’s desire). Her interpretation is that The Red Shoes is a warning against the loss of the handmade life, and how easily it can slip away from us if we are naive and not aware of our true values. According to Estés, this loss of this life sets up a tremendous hunger in the psyche, and that if we don’t hold onto our basic, made life and joy it will be taken away from us. The choices we make are highlighted, in that we can choose things that cause us to dance madly out of control and that without awareness, creative passion can make us vulnerable  The moral that Estés emphasises is to hold onto the handmade life as our centre, which makes us rich in soul and spirit.

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Home (Jan 2012). Mixed Media & Acrylic.

The ‘better life’ in the story is a life of structured, civilised and well behaved, in which there is not enough freedom for the creative urge to be naturally expressed. Estés describes shoes as a symbol for the values we stand for, and the protection of those values and the psyche. Our protagonist therefore lusts after new red shoes which symbolise false values. Creativity is intertwined with values, and Estés points out that the handmade life slips away when people are told their creative ideas are not useful, practical or needed (symbolised in the story by the burning of her handmade red shoes). Estés writes:

“When our ideas are conveyed or carried in ‘too fancy’ a carriage, they can become corrupted and we become famished. day to day craftsmanship is the appropriate vehicle for ideas of substance, sustainment and authenticity”

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Loss (Jan 2012), mixed media & acrylic

The importance of the handmade life is emphasized here, craft as nourishment and strength, and the mindful continuity of paying attention on a daily basis. This day-to-day mentality is what Estés calls the philosophy of a handmade life, in which piece by piece we build a magnificent picture. This is approach to life has survival value, personally and as a species. In this blog post Mark Sission elaborates on the evolutionary role of making and craft:

“As anthropologists suggest, inclinations toward craft and artistry were selected for. They increased the survival chances of individuals and their communities. A skilled spear maker added obvious value. Yet those who could design jewelry or other adornment introduced “material metaphors” and “social technologies” that enhanced kinship relationships and community identity as well as expanded the terms of inter-band negotiation. 

Artistry then was usable if not practical. Today, Western society has largely segregated art to an aesthetic corner. It may represent life but doesn’t intersect much with it. However, individuals still practice crafts handed down to them by family or community members. Likewise, many traditional societies continue to pass down the art forms and crafts as “collective wisdom” that help define their distinctive cultures.”

Using The Red Shoes to illustrate her approach to creative wellbeing, Estés suggests that the sequel or counter-tale would be for the protagonist to find shoes which match her needs and feelings, a grounding that won’t dance away with her. For us to realise that cutting short one’s creative life and thinking we are not enough is destructive, and to go towards things in life that bring constant sustained renewal and alignment with values.

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Recovery (Jan 2012), mixed media & acrylic

This is the story I want to tell, not one ending in warning, guilt and shame but in healing and recovery, a post-cautionary tale if you will. An ending involving another handmade pair of shoes, created with skill, symbolising stronger values. Why? Because the messages Estés pulls out of the original story matter, because I can see this cycle in not only my own life but in the lives of others, and how this ‘climbing the ladder’ culture we live in causes us to de-value organic, homegrown creativity. How so many people I know and meet suffer, removed from themselves and nature as a result of losing the organic, handmade life. I know and feel it because I have gone through the motions myself, and I can see when people are desperately grasping to reclaim something that feels real. Because I know what they need is to be thrown or to find a lifeline so they can pull themselves out of the quicksand.

Stories can be a kind of lifeline. In my current space of reclaiming the handmade life, I find myself compelled to tell this story of loss and recovery through the lens of The Red Shoes, and to offer my artwork and re-telling as healing tools for others. To speak of this cycle of loss and recovery through the work.

When I realised that this loss had happened in my own life, and I had been following into false values I was at first shocked. This…actually happened, and explains so much. How could I have allowed what I truly loved to slip away ? After a little self-blame, I realised what Estés is saying is that it happens to the young and naive because the process of loss is so subtle, because we don’t know any better and this is a part of life. In a way this could be considered an essential part of learning and growth, slipping away from one’s self in order to return, scarred but older and wiser. Perhaps we go through this cycle many times. However many times it is, can we go through it with awareness?

Recovery turns this story into a transformational narrative, in working with this version I feel a pressing sense of responsibility; we must warn the young people, and invite them to aspire in a way that aligns with their values, natural creativity and a connection to nature. We must enable those who are lost to find signposts and way-markers, to navigate their way to creative health. As Dougald Hine suggests, we must regenerate meaning in our lives. Recovering the life made by hand is a part of this process.

So what emerges in this exploration? Paintings and mixed media pieces, and objects such as handmade shoes and signs. I work often to a recording of my retelling, to let the story sink in at a deep level. Gathering imagery from objects (found and handmade) and the environment I am letting the process guide me, not to produce illustrations of this story but images and artifacts that interpret the messages in it. To make a space in which to experience this narrative and to meditate and reflect on loss and recovery of the handmade, connecting through intimate relationship with nature.

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Handmade Red Shoes (Jan 2012). Paper, Stitch & Mixed Media

I hope to tell and show more soon…including my version of The Red Shoes. Possibly  for a month or so until the work is complete, although fragments of this, or other aspects of the creative journey may find their way here in the meantime.

Say it simple, say it true.

The time has come in this intensive period of creative development to do scary things like write artist statements and work out what I want to say…a task which at first seemed daunting. Briefed with this task I went around for about 10 days feeling confounded. I know what I’m interested in, I know what I care about and I know what lights me up…but what do I want to SAY?

To help me answer this question I read a lot on the subject and studied how people who make work that moves me speak about it. From this I realised that finding one’s voice as an artist isn’t about how much you can say, but being able to say it in the purest possible language in words that directly connect with your purpose. Reading this post from Zen Habits helped me distil what I do and for what means. I also connected deeply with my values for this piece of writing. Artists who write a lot about what they do in pretentious language really put me off, and I wanted to write something simple and true.

In this light, finding your voice isn’t so much about inventing new ways to say things, but stripping away all the rubbish that might be blocking your channel.

With a little bit of pre-amble, this is what I wrote.

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The village of New Radnor in Wales (where my Welsh half comes from, and somewhere I spent a lot of time as a child)

I have a memory of being 12 years old, and standing in my Aunt’s kitchen in mid-Wales. My cousin Joanne was home from Art school in Manchester. She put her portfolio on the table to show us, as she opened it the room was flooded with vibrant colour and energy. I don’t remember what the images were but I remember the life that they gave to a grey space on a cold day, and the dramatic shift in our energy which occurred. The quality of conversation and interaction deepened, we were connected.I couldn’t articulate what that special something was, but I knew I wanted it in my life. My path from there was creative and interesting, but not artistic and to cut a long story short (and because it is time to tell a new one), I never really believed in my potential. Luckily, I met somebody who did. These words from Jay Griffiths resonate with the soul journey I find myself wandering along. Going away (as Charlotte Du Cann puts it) in order to come home to myself.

“Depression is a wasteland all of its own. No animation, no vivacity. The psyche, hurt badly enough, will withdraw and wont come back easily—or, for some, at all. Like a plant without sap, the body is without dynamism, flair or potency and the psyche wanders far away, lost and lonely. Before I went to the Amazon, I wouldn’t have used the term soul less, because I had never heard of the concept. Nor did I know anything of “soul retrieval” practiced by shamans, who understand that if a person’s soul is lost, it takes a sure-footed skillful traveller in the landscape of the mind to find it. In the Amazon, shamans undertake these journeys into the deep forests of the psyche; they say see their way to search for a soul as you would see a path in a dream, finding their way in the wilderness of the human mind.”
- Jay Griffiths, Wild

I have come to study art in my 30s to do my own creative healing and to find my voice as an artist. A dear friend and mentor convinced me to come here and kept me believing I deserved to, even when I was on the brink of bailing out. The thing she said that prevented creative self-sabotage was to say “you are nearly 30 years old and this is your healing, if you don’t go it will break your heart”. I knew she was right, so here I am. As I create, unfold, heal and begin to believe in myself I start to weave a new story.

Artist Statement

 

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The creative journey is one of becoming whole. Connecting the everyday with environment, I find a healing channel where place and life are intertwined. Through making art I belong and relate more deeply, binding people and contexts closer together in intimate relationship. Collecting and telling stories of change so new narratives can emerge, I speak as a woman: documenting a path of empowerment, finding roots, connecting with wildness and highlighting feminine experience. Making things by hand from tactile, natural, recycled and found materials identifies threads of meaning, weaving a poetic everyday filled with precious moments. Designing and holding mindful spaces I go deeper into my spirituality, touching what is sacred, the down-to-earth, the here and now.

 

Ian Hamilton Finlay: Transforming Disorder Through Poetic Space

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Shepherd, poet, writer, designer, artist, gardener, philosopher. These are some of the many hats 
of Ian Hamilton Finlay (1925-2006). Across his writing, publishing, collaborations, garden designs and his outlook 
in general, Finlay had a fundamentally poetic view of the world. In this fascinating artist I have found poetic inspiration with a quirky edge and gentle humour, which is both moving and delightful. There is a thread I see running throughout his life and work; the creation and design of poetic space, often as a response to disorder in the world.

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“Everything for me has been home-made. I was never at university or anything. I was always in the outside — so, I worked things out for myself”
- Ian Hamilton Finlay, 2001

BIOGRAPHY

Born in the Bahamas, Ian Hamilton Finlay was brought up in Glasgow and the Orkney Islands. He had been sent to Scotland from the age of six to attend boarding school. In 1943 he attended just one year at Glasgow School of Art, following which he worked as an assistant in a commercial art studio. He also worked for a year in advertising and copywriting.

In 1942 Finlay joined the British army after being evacuated to Orkney. This experience is echoed in art later in his life (warships, fighter jets and tanks became repeated symbols in his work). At the end of the war he worked as a shepherd, before beginning to write short stories and poems. His books (such as The Sea Bed and Other Stories) were published. Even though some of his material was broadcast by the BBC, Finlay never became well known for this work, as his publishers were somewhat obscure.

In 1961, Hamilton Finlay established the Wild Hawthorn Press in Edinburgh with Jessie McGuffie. Under this a range of writers and artists were published, although the press became best known for publishing his own work including kinetic booklets, poster poems and poetry published on unusual materials (for example tiles and glass). In 1966 he and his second wife Sue brought a five acre farm at Stonypath Farm in Lanarkshire. Here he eventually began to compose poems to be inscribed in stone and other materials. The farm was eventually named Little Sparta, because when local authorities decreed that Finlay had turned his property into an art gallery and should therefore pay higher rates. He refused to pay, as he believed his garden was a temple. Sparta is the traditional enemy of Athens (and Edinburgh the Athens of the North).

Finlay’s experimental work in the garden context led to him being known as ‘the avant-gardener’. He completed several garden design commissions for others, all designed from within the walls of Little Sparta. In later life he was a chronic agoraphobic and hardly ever left the farm. This introverted way of being was also present in his earlier work; his early writing and stories would often feature a young protagonist forced to confront a problem posed by the social world. However this did not stop him being outspoken in his own way, and for a quiet man he was part of a wide social circle. Guardian writer James Cambell described him as having a kind of “canny naivety” (2003, the Guardian), personality traits which shine through in his work. My impression is that Finlay was very self-aware, demonstrated in a lovely description of himself as “in a wee homemade way, a sophisticated person” (2003, the Guardian). 

Throughout his life and work, certain themes and symbols appeared in Finlay’s writing and poetic creations. Finlay spoke a nautical language of boats, fishing, sea and sailing, and also one of war, weaving his politic, philosophy and connection to the classical into the work. He explored these wide-ranging themes whilst maintaining a connection the the everyday. This meeting point between the heroic and the domestic has been described as classically Finlayesque (Ingleby Gallery, 2012). 

THE ETERNAL POET

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Ian Hamilton Finlay’s preference for short, concise poetry may have begun when he worked in advertising and copywriting. He said in a Guardian interview that during this time he learnt “something about brevity”. At times his poems would be just a word or simple phrase, some even having a riddle-like quality. An example of this is the following set of nine words from a longer poem, carved on a wooden bench built around a large old tree at Little Sparta:

THE SEA’S WAVES
THE WAVES’ SHEAVES
THE SEA’S NAVES

At the end of the war Finlay made friends with several poets, including Hugh MacDiarmid. Finlay became closely associated with a group of American writers, connected to the Black Mountain poet Robert Creeley. In 1961, he established the Wild Hawthorn Press in Edinburgh with Jessie McGuffie, and published collections of poems by Objectivists and Black Mountaineers, such as Louis Zukofsky, Lorine Niedecker and Jonathan Williams.At the same time, Finlay set up a poetry magazine called Poor. Old. Tired. Horse (POTH), after a line in a poem by Creeley. Whilst popular with these American poets, he was unpopular in Scotland. The artistic conservatism at the time was suspicious of his lightheartedness and sense of humour, in someone who was transitioning from writer to artist.

An important stage in this transition was concrete poetry, the movement which Finlay is most associated with. The term concrete poetry was coined in the 1950s, and is nothing to do with concrete in the sense of materials! It refers to a typographical arrangement of words which is as important in conveying the intended effect as the conventional elements of the poem, such as meaning of words, rhythm, rhyme and so on. It is sometimes referred to as visual poetry (although visual poetry is a broader term). In 1956 an international exhibition of concrete poetry was held by the group Noigandres. Two years later a Brazilian concrete poetry manifesto was published. By spring 1963, Finlay had featured the concrete poets Augusto de Campos, Pedro Xisto and Marcelo Moura in the sixth issue of P.O.T.H. In 1963 Finlay published Rapel – a collection of concrete poetry. He published much similar work through Wild Hawthorn Press in a variety of forms.

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Although it was as a concrete poet that he first became widely known, Finlay later disassociated himself with the movement.

Finlay stretched the idea of poetry to the extremes, including the material a poem or poetic sentiment can appear on. At Tate Britain in 2012, a number of his works were on display in different mediums: stone carvings, bronze objects (for example a guillotine, gun, and spade), standalone 3D letters, neon signs, books, tiles and posters.

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Nestled amongst heavy sculptures and text was a small glass nautical float, sitting in a pile of pink and yellow fishing nets. It was hand-inscribed with uncharacteristic handwritten calligraphy “there is a ship named the wave sheaf” – again referencing Finlay’s poem: Is There A Ship Named The Wave Sheaf?

This little sphere (of which sadly no image is available) offered a little tactile sensitivity amongst all the concrete and solid text. Finlay’s work is find moving and powerful, but lightness of touch is rare in his statements and objects. However the diversity of materials and forms in which he expressed his poetry embodies a freshness. As stated on the exhibition literature, “his approach to his work – whatever material he used, whether wood, stone, neon, bronze or paper – remained that of a poet giving form to ideas.” (Tate Britain, 2012)

At Little Sparta, Finlay began to write his words into stone. This sculptural work was always carried out in collaboration with craftsmen, for example typographer Ron Costly. In the garden he began to ‘plant’ poems, integrating them with the experience of being at one with nature. The 5-acre  garden includes concrete poetry in sculptural form, polemic and philosophical aphorisms, together with sculptures and two temples. Altogether it includes over 275 artworks by the artist, created in collaboration with numerous craftsmen and women. Built over 40 years, it cradled many of Finlay’s artistic and philosophical beliefs.

POETRY, ENVIRONMENT & SACRED SPACE

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“At every turn along Little Sparta’s paths or in its glades, language – here plaintively, there aggressively – ambushes the visitor. Plaques, benches, headstones, obelisks, planters, bridges and tree-column bases all carry words or other signage; and this language, in relation to the objects upon which it is inscribed and the landscape within which it is sited, functions metaphorically to conjure up an ideal and radical space, a space of the mind beyond sight or touch.” 

- Prudence Carlson

At Little Sparta, Finlay created his own sacred space. As mentioned previously, the garden was a temple to him. Using his creativity he designed a space to hold his philosophical beliefs and to express his poetic worldview. In this act he crafted a vessel for his own spirituality. The thought and mood provoking tone of his work creates a meditative space which I have only entered in a gallery setting, but I imagine is far more powerful in it’s intended context; the natural environment. Finlay’s political stance and beliefs relate closely to the space he created at Little Sparta. He was a passionate advocate of the principles that inspired the French Revolution, and often referenced Louis Antoine de Saint-Just, a military and political leader during the French Revolution. In an interview with Jacket Magazine, Finlay spoke about piety, not in terms of “some narrow Christian piety or something dogmatic [...] As a feeling, piety is almost completely absent from our culture — and I deplore this situation”.

THE PRESENT ORDER IS THE DISORDER OF THE FUTURE

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The Present Order is a sculpture at Little Sparta conceived by Finlay and carved by Nicholas Sloan. It consists of eleven blocks of stone lying on the ground which look like a ruin, suggesting fragments of what was once a larger message. The words “the present order is the disorder of the future” is derived from a speech by St Just.

The question of whether the order of words is correct is posed by the maker. Finlay asks this in a print version of the work which gives instructions to cut around the outlines and arrange them in order, but the fragment edges are too crumbled to match so it must be done by intuition.

This work deals with memory and prophecy, past, present and future. A grand but long-forgotten past lies deteriorating, reclaimed by nature. It is what Jay Griffiths might call a ‘sideways look at time’

“Time is a political subject. It is a crucial part of the language of power , between nations, and classes, between men and women, between humankind and nature. Stealthily, nastily, one type of time has grown horribly dominant: clock-dominated, work-oriented, coercive, capitalist and anti-natural: Hegemonic Time”
- Jay Griffiths, from Pip Pip: A Sideways Look at Time.

A puzzle waiting to be solved, these words lie there. The sense of confusion provoked by their presence stirs up more questions than what the right order is; they make us want to change not just the words but the world around us, which may have been Finlay’s true intention. As he transformed his world through creating a poetic space, he invites us to do the same in ours.

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More! 

Interviews

http://jacketmagazine.com/15/rash-iv-finlay.html

http://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-britain/display/ian-hamilton-finlay

Websites

http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poets/ian-hamilton-finlay

The Sackner Archives: http://ww3.rediscov.com/sacknerarchives/Welcome.aspx

http://www.inglebygallery.com/artists/ian-hamilton-finlay/

Articles

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/nov/16/ian-hamilton-finlay-concrete-poetry
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2003/may/31/art.artsfeatures1

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2006/mar/29/guardianobituaries.artsobituaries

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/great-works/great-works-the-present-order-1983-ian-hamilton-finlay-1692373.html
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/375726b4-e60e-11e1-bece-00144feab49a.html#axzz2IjHiM5ND

Blog Posts

http://chloeeleanor.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/ian-hamilton-finlay-violence-muted/

http://tomclarkblog.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/revolutionary-arcadia.html

Films

Concrete! Documentary about the visual poetry collection of Ruth & Marvin Sackner

http://www.ubu.com/film/sackner_concrete.html

 

Some words for 2013

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Image from an installation I am drawing from. 

On the first day of 2013, I find myself able to finish a small poem I started about a year ago. It is rather relevant to the project I am working on over the festive break; to begin a self-directed body of artwork.

The table in front of me is covered in objects and images relating to my areas of interest; natural objects, textiles, women and handmade vessels. Objects that speak to me and together tell a story. Constructing it was fun, sitting down to draw it is terrifying. In the midst of ultimate creative procrastination and clever distraction techniques (such as writing this blog post) I wonder what it is that can make sitting down with ourselves and our creative ideas so threatening. I can easily sit in meditation for 30 minutes every day, and am rather good at spending time with myself. Why does this activity feel like a step beyond when in fact, it’s an extension of meditation?

This is indeed a spiritual question. In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes about how this fear is being scared to listen to our guiding voice, the creator within as our source of direction. In this book and essential companion for artists, Julia offers support to help us shift to spiritual and creative dependency:

“The shift to spiritual dependency is a gradual one. We have been making this shift slowly and surely. With each day we become more true to ourselves, more open to the positive. To our surprise, this seems to be working in our human relationships. We find we are more able to tell more of our truth, hear more of other people’s truth, and encompass a far more kindly attitude towards both. [...] We acquire a sense of movement, a current of change in our lives. This current, or river, is a flow of grace moving us to our right livelihood, companions, destiny”.

To echo Julia’s sentiments, here’s my little poem. I think it is also about the relationship doing one’s own creative work whilst helping others on their creative journey.

Now I don’t know much
but of one thing I’m sure;

There is nothing in life
so certain and constant as change.

Facing my own fear, embracing
The uncertain,
I offer a simple thing:

To hold a space 
for you to ride those waves.

We are not falling,
but flying. 

Wishing you all flow and focused flight for 2013,

Emily x

Ancestral Anthologies: Family Research as Creative Healing

For the last few months I’ve felt the urge to start researching my family history & herstory. It’s to do with roots, becoming more pro-active in my family,  being 30 and taking an interest in such things, and is connected to the documentation, research and journalistic aspects of my work. I also find family stories, characters and everyday tales (mine and other people’s) an incredibly rich source of inspiration for creative output.

After a few months of brewing thoughts, my Dad and I kickstarted this project over Christmas. I know a little more about my maternal side so it seemed a natural starting point, along with the big envelope stuffed full of photos and bag of documents at my parent’s house. We began sorting the material, Dad talking through who was in the photographs and where they were taken, then through birth, death and marriage certificates and other documents such as driving licenses and newspaper clippings. My questioning and our conversation filled in some of the gaps, and identified some to be filled.

I was delighted to find out that my Dad’s ancestors were makers. My granny’s father was an engraver for pottery and silver, and that my great-grandfather was a master potter. Less delightfully, but still fascinating it turns out that my paternal grandparents met whilst working in a gun factory (she inspecting guns and he making them). I had already known that my great grandparents (Eliza and Alfred) on her side were both deaf and dumb, but I hadn’t seen this lovely news article about how my granny (Emily-Anne) as a small girl acted as an interpreter in court:

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Top: Eliza & Alfred. Bottom: News clipping about Emily-Anne. 

We also talked about the tough stuff, such as the great aunt who fell down the stairs aged four and ended up brain damaged, spending most of her life in horrific mental institutions. My dad read me the speech he wrote for my granny’s funeral, which I was too young to attend. We talked freely about other family difficulties and shadows. It was both joyful and moving to spend time together in this way, and then to share our findings with my sister and her partner.

As we went along we scanned, labeled and filed the photographs, whilst organising the documents into appropriate categories. The whole lot was given a new home in a big red metal filing box; a little more respectful to the ancestors than a scrappy envelope and dusty old bag.

After just a couple of hours focused effort and sharing, we now hold many more family stories. Apparently most of my family don’t know too much about their roots! This makes the importance of this research more pressing – if someone doesn’t take responsibility for harvesting  this information (and facilitating/inspiring other family members to join in) then the stories of our ancestors will be lost. These are the storytellers within a family, or perhaps what Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls herself – a cantadora (keeper of the old stories). What choice and power do we have in the way we choose to tell these stories? Can the way we weave narratives heal?

Ancestral research as a creative form of family and personal therapy

From an ongoing interest in Shamanism, I have been inspired by the principles of honouring/healing your ancestors, and recognising the patterns originating from your family. In getting to know these traditions and other forms of healing, psychology and therapy, I learn that the root of much that needs to be healed is often found in the family. This is not necessarily one’s parents but understanding the roots of trauma that filter down through generations and how they have affected us, in order to relate better to past and future generations. This is an important part of intergenerational wellbeing and communication.

Family archaeology is a fun, interesting, mildly addictive and creative way to discover the past, which you can’t do alone. This kind of inquiry requires collaboration, spending time together and intimate dialogue with our closest relatives (as well as external research). It can also challenging in some respects – you can’t block out those skeletons in the closet, and digging up the past can be emotional and hard. However by by talking about them we open the door so they can breathe, and in doing so connect more closely with our families.

Identifying past and present stories to create our future narratives

Taking action on my musings about starting some kind of project was sparked by an image that came to me in meditation. I had been sitting for about 20 minutes when this idea came back to me, along with the image of a family tree with roots. Suddenly, the tree flipped with me in the centre and the roots trailing behind me. I then began to visualise my future stretching out in front of me.

This future connected to storytelling works on both personal and collective levels. In this dialogue Jeppe Dyrendom Graugaard talks to writer, publisher, editor and narrative therapist Sharon Blackie about transforming stories. Sharon references Laguna storyteller Leslie Silko:

(Stories) ‘aren’t just entertainment/ Don’t be fooled/ They are all we have, you see/ All we have to fight off/ Illness and death. You don’t have anything/ If you don’t have the stories.’ For Native Americans like Silko, a story is an intricate part of a web that cradles all the past, present and future events, ceremonies, beliefs and traditions of their culture. In the centre of this web is the land. Each story is part of another story which is linked to yet another one, and all these stories are connected back to the very origin of creation. That’s very powerful stuff!

However, to change meta-narratives, Sharon points out that we need to take our time, approaching “the process with reverence. As an apprenticeship. Stories are magical. They have to be seduced, cajoled. Stories are the basic constituents of the world – at least, of the way we perceive the world and our place in it. They deserve to be treated with respect.”

I agree that change through storytelling is no quick-fix process, and stories must be collected and evolved over years, lifetimes even. However, it seems to me that the effects of telling transformative stories can bind us together in a way that plants subtle seeds – but like all good relationships we have to keep nourishing them. If we are aware of the embodied roles stories play in our lives, deep down we can start to feel the binding effects of tender growth from their telling – long before we can begin to articulate it in words.

A Symbol for the Solstice

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On this special day of transformation and change in consciousness I gave myself a gift as a way of setting intentions for the future. I purchased this beautiful feather ring from Brixi in Brixton Village to symbolise my commitment to living and practicing as an artist, and to following my heart. In a way, it was also a gesture of thanks to this special place in the city. Weddings in the conventional sense are not really my thing, but in terms of this commitment, the words of traditional vows seem very appropriate.

to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
until death do us part

According to Shamanic spiritual leader Sergio Magaña, the effects of planetary alignment actually last until the 25th. What loving action could you take to symbolise your commitment to your future, either by yourself or with those close to you?